The One Man Aston Villa Should Sign From the MLS

A Venglos View

Last season, the stewards at Villa Park were seen as spoil sports, getting a tad sensitive when it came to Aston Villa supporters bringing banners to Villa Park to show their discontent at Alex McLeish.

How would they react though if the Villa faithful started bringing chainsaws and axes to Villa Park? All in the name of a good goal celebration.

Villa’s final opponent on their US tour Portland Timbers have one of the most infamous mascots in the MLS, if not world sport.

Forget oversize  animal heads, furry suits and comical giant feet. Forget clubs pandering to children with cuteness…In fact,  forget anything that’s legal in a football ground!

Timber Joey Portland Timbers
Timber Joey tells supporters ‘Sing or die!’

The Portland Timbers mascot is the chainsaw-welding Timber Joey. Forget drums and horns to get the crowd going, Joey, just revs up his chainsaw for the same effect. Then there’s the Timbers match-day tradition of Joey sawing a slab off a log following every Timbers goal and presenting the slice to the goal-scorer in a post-match ritual.

Portland Timbers players celebrate
Timber players celebrate with wood

If Joey came to Villa Park, an in-form Darren Bent could collect enough wood in a season to fully kit out his house in furniture!

Portland Timbers Timber Joey
I’m thinking Upper Holte?

Could Timber Joey be the answer to bring back the atmosphere to the Holte End? If so, lets put a request in for him to visit Villa Park via the ‘request an appearance’ form on the Timbers website.

If nothing else, he’ll give the Villa stewards something to think about…

Portland Timbers Timber Joey kilt axe
Joey leaves home without his chainsaw and trousers, luckily he’s still got his kilt and axe!

To see Timber Joey in action check out the great video of him on the earlier MOMS post here.

Timber Joey also kicks McDonalds’ ass
Portland Timbers Timber Joey kids
And finally…Timber Joey is very good with kids



  1. Can you post the link to the game ? not just the website, not easy to find anything on that dirty site lol

  2. Before anyone starts condemning the Stewards at Villa Park for doing their jobs, just remember … there is usually someone at the end of their earpiece telling them to do what they do … It’s them (the Faceless Ones) who should answer for their instructions, not the poor Stewards who get paid to do as they are told, but get the upset Villa fans in their face threatening to abuse their faces !!

    •  @Villa Stewards Yep, last season, stewards were indeed between a rock and a hard place. I did write an article regarding the ‘faceless ones’ instructions and a call for common sense. The ‘faceless ones’ have also tried to censor MOMS too. Stewards have to use their own wisdom at the end of the day. I’m sure most fans know they have a job to do, but if they are trying to enforce anti-supporter orders, then they have to way up common sense and being a jobsworth.

  3. Great article. You can see a video of him in action on an article I posted a while back previewing the Timber’s before a Whitecaps game. Portland have arguably the best support in the MLS, although Whitecaps, Sounders and Toronto FC fans would take issue with that.

      •  @MyOldManSaid Lol. I’ve adopted the Whitecaps having moved to Vancouver five years ago from London. It’s better than no football at all.

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