Rémi Garde to ‘Splash the Cash’ on Doumbia & Ronaldinho

More Media Muppets stories one from this week and one from earlier in the month starring a famous Brazilian...

Splash the Cash?

As the tumble weed rolls through Villa Park and Bodymoor Heath, Villa supporters are getting sadly resigned to their future next season, after this season seems to have fizzled out in January without any noticeable fight.

Nemanja Vidic has stuck two fingers up to the press with their reports of him being in talks with Villa, as he announced his retirement from playing this week, while early Villa target Loic Remy is in talks to join Leicester City on a more permanent basis. Also, Croatian goalkeeper Lovre Kalinic despite the Birmingham Mail writing a story on the latest ‘appeal’ every 30 minutes, seems dead in the water…although I’m looking forward to the Mail’s story on Villa’s appeal to the US Supreme Court.

It doesn’t look like the press have twigged that Aston Villa won’t be spending very at much at all…take this first recent example


Alex Wood @ The Daily Star


Remi Garde set to splash the cash as Aston Villa battle Premier League rivals for goal ace. Aston Villa have entered the race for Seydou Doumbia, according to reports in Italy


Italian news outlet Calcio Web claim Villa boss Remi Garde is weighing up a swoop for the Roma man.

The Ivory Coast striker has been linked with host of Premier League clubs including Swansea, Leicester and Tottenham.

But Villa could face serious competition from an unlikely destination. 

The 28-year-old, who is currently on loan at CSKA Moscow, has reportedly been offered £6m-a-year to move to China’s Super League.

Wealthy clubs Shanghai and Jiangsu are in the market for major signings and Doumbia could fit the bill.

Watford were keen on signing the gifted attacker in the summer but the deal collapsed over the terms of the contract.


  1. What part of the Villa board mantra that has echoed around the corridors of Villa Park for the last month of ‘not splashing the cash’ does this journalist not understand?

2. So are Villa really going to be able to match this supposed ‘£6m-a-year’ Doumbia can command in China. Eh, no! And it sounds like the Ivorian striker is a bit of a mercenary – he’s on loan in the Russian league for starters and his move to the Premier League with Watford broke down due to money.

3. Villa have spoken to the striker, like they speak to a lot of players, but the club’s attitude towards wages/fees isn’t going to give them much chance with Doumbia, so the tone of the article is all wrong.

4. It’s pretty woeful by even clickbait standards. Tone it down.

Media Muppet Score: 8/10


Dan Ross @ Bwin


Fading Brazilian star would be worthwhile risk for struggling Aston Villa


The January transfer window offers the Villans one last chance at salvation and a canny signing or two could help them get out of trouble.

Ronaldinho is a star whose stock is plummeting after his return to Brazilian football saw him go through three clubs, with a short stint in Mexico sandwiched somewhere in the middle, before being released by Fluminese after alienating fans.

The Brazilian has dismissed claims that he is going to retire and his brother, who doubles up as his agent, revealed that the Champions League winner is looking at moving to England.

If Ronaldinho truly fancies a stint in the Premier League, he should head to Villa Park and try to help them out of their relegation troubles.

A short-term deal would work out brilliantly for both, as it would allow Villa to bring in a high-profile player who has the ability to control a game while not having to worry about his wages if they do descend into the Championship.

The move wouldn’t even be that much of a gamble as, if the 35-year-old only signed until the end of the season, it would mean both would be able to cut their losses if it didn’t work out and wouldn’t be stuck in the Championship together.


1. A classic example of somebody writing something without actually thinking about the realities of the universe. It’s boarding on a fairytale with no basis in reality.

2. One of the trends in publishing is for companies that sell a product or service to create their own media outlet – so they can cut out the middle man and not have to advertise or do PR. They just fill the website/magazine with fluff articles while they sell their wares on the other pages.

Clothing companies do it, supermarkets do it and as in the example here betting companies do it.

The sad thing is Newsnow list them as a legit outlet, pundits (and also journalists) get paid a decent sum write for them to legitimise them further, so readers are fooled into thinking they are reading a proper news source. Obviously Bwin only have one objective here and it’s nothing to do with decent journalism.

3Ronaldinho is 35-years-old now and has been bouncing around the Brazilian and Mexican leagues like a circus act. How exactly will he lift Aston Villa to safety from an almost impossible position? He’d struggle to make a real impact even in his prime. A ‘brilliant’ move indeed!

4. He’ll be lucky to get a final pay day from any club…do Villa’s Tom Fox and Steve Hollis look like the guys to give him it? No!

5. I love the thinking of ‘The move wouldn’t even be that much of a gamble’ just because it’s a loan. With that logic signing ANY player on loan isn’t a gamble. Anybody reading this fancy playing for Villa? You apparently wouldn’t be ‘much of a gamble’.

Media Muppet Score: 10/10

Thank god the window is almost closed. UTV

If you’ve spotted an article that is just lazy journalism or worse, and perfect for Media Muppets then leave the link in the comments below, DM us on facebook or send it to us via Twitter @oldmansaid


  1. Aston Villa the club everyone loves to talk about and probably stand up comedians are lining up new punchlines, I wonder why Villa are not an attractive team to join anymore ??? I thought PELE might have a last go on the Pitch for Villa before he pops his clogs, Any world cup winning medal owners from retired footballers are welcome perhaps Sid and God Mcgrath could chip in on the pitch a bit more their absence is noticeable, I am really pleased that all the executive positions are now in place and will suck up the majority of the wage structure which should allow the club to expand the width and length of the UK for any shining Sunday league football talent, Our youth structure is settling in a bit and although you can’t win with Kids as the famous quote goes so lets not bother with Sellars thats Jurrell no Peter, anyway the Media love a good transfer story especially with the Villa, So lets put it out there that Messi has sympathised with the Villa cause and wants to join on a free for no wages and he wants to bring a few of his colleagues along to help the survival cause, Its a feel good story.

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