White Walls…
In the past week, there has been a lot of talk by Fulham fans of creating a ‘White Wall’ at Wembley on the east side of the stadium. You may have seen the Twitter hashtags #whitewall and #FFCWhiteWall doing the rounds, promoting their White Wall campaign that is supported by the club.
The idea…wait for it…is for all Fulham fans to wear white T-shirts or home shirts to create a visual white wall.
???? We’re behind #FFCWhiteWall…
Now, let’s turn Wembley white – wear your home colours on Saturday! ⚪ pic.twitter.com/VZjZxmVwSx
— Fulham Football Club (@FulhamFC) May 21, 2018
Uncertain Foundations
With Fulham fans allowed up to five tickets, when they booked their play-off final tickets, it’s been purposed that due to the moderate size of their fanbase, this may lead to daytrippers, neutral friends and family, and even Villa fans joining their ranks in their end of Wembley.
This could create dodgy foundations for any wall, but Villa fans are taking no chances.
Villa’s supporters have been past masters of winning the Wembley battle of the stands, with their latest success drowning out Liverpool fans’ pre-match rendition of ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ before the 2015 FA Cup semi-final kicked-off. After which, they then produced an impressive ‘VILLA’ mosaic.
It both, took the Liverpool fans by surprise and spurred the Villa players on to victory.
This time, to counter Fulham’s ‘White Wall’, the plans are a little more elaborate and take their cue from the popular TV series Game of Thrones.
***SPOILER ALERT***
In the final episode of the last season of a Game of Thrones, there is literally the blueprint of how to destroy a giant white wall.
In the climatic scene, the Night King uses his newly acquired pet dragon to lay waste to the wall that separates his undead army from the living of Westeros.
Taking their lead from this episode, Villa supporters ran a secret crowdfunder on the dark web, away from the prying eyes of local press and mainstream social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook, to raise an undisclosed five-figure sum for a giant inflatable pyro-breathing dragon.
Due to the immense costs involved of creating such a giant inflatable pyro-breathing dragon, Villa fans had to enlist the contacts of owner Tony Xia to get it sourced in China under the supervision of the Recon Group, to keep costs down.
Also, it is understood that Xia astutely negotiated a ‘try before you by’ deal, similar to what Fulham fan’s seem to think their appearance at Wembley stadium is.
With the Villa owner a big fan of Games of Thrones, Doctor Tony has allegedly volunteered to ride the dragon into Wembley Stadium during the build-up to the match, like the Night King does in the TV show, to personally destroy Fulham’s white wall himself.
Preparation
What Fulham fans haven’t realised is their downfall has been prepared in plain sight.
The pyro-breathing mechanisms for the dragon were successfully tested recently on the Villa Park pitch, before the second-leg of the play-off semi-final win against Middlesbrough.
Earlier in the year, at an invite-only Chinese New Year celebration in the grounds of Aston Hall, the dragon itself got a test run, which MOMS was lucky enough to get a snap of below…
Not Claret Enough
The reason the dragon turned out to be gold and a Chinese dragon in design, is very much down to Dr Tony’s smart-thinking and diplomacy, that helped defuse an argument that had arisen within the Villa ranks.
Originally, Villa fans had earmarked a more traditional looking dragon design, ala Smaug in The Hobbit or the ones in Game of Thrones. Everything was going to plan, until a certain section of supporters complained that the dragon was too purple and not claret enough.
An argument not too dissimilar to some fans outrage in recent years over the colour of the club’s last few home shirts.
Xia, with his vast contacts in the Chinese smart dragon manufacturing sector, was able to source the golden dragon to provide all parties with a happy compromise.
In the press release, the club only sent to MOMS, they stated that the dragon’s colour is ‘symbolic of a new golden age of Aston Villa football club’.
Rumours that next season’s Villa away shirt designed by Luke 1977 is also gold, cannot be confirmed at this time.
Testing
A Villa spokesman, was noticeably very excited about the dragon plans, when speaking with MOMS to give us the lowdown.
“The inflatable pyro-breathing dragon should lay waste to the Fulham fans’ white wall in 15 seconds flat by our estimates,” said the Villa spokesman.
“It could actually be quicker than that, it all depends on how flammable those clappers are that Fulham fans use.”
There have been concerns that Wembley stadium would ban the dragon due to health and safety concerns, further frustrating Villa supporters, whom on their previous Wembley visit to the 2015 FA Cup final, had their giant surfer flag banned by the stadium.
Villa’s legal team pointed out to Wembley Stadium officials that since the dragon will fly in and only occupy the air above the stadium, they cannot legally object, since the London Borough of Brent council doesn’t have any no-fly zone regulations in place for inflatable dragons.
The two parties agreed though, that it’s best if Xia and the inflatable pyro-breathing dragon should fly in-and-out of the stadium while Sky TV is on a commercial break. This will at least spare those viewers of a sensitive disposition from witnessing the wall’s complete and utter destruction.
Pimms Sippers Advice
HEALTH & SAFETY NOTICE
We can’t have the #whitewall collapsing!
Our end could be soaked in sun as you may have seen over the weekend at the Man United match.
Please bring enough water for your needs and get yourself sun lotioned up before leaving home!
☀????☀????☀????☀
— Turnstile Talk (@Turnstile_Talk) May 21, 2018
A lot has been said on social media about Fulham fans and their sun cream warning tweets (like the one above). Pimms Sippers, if you are going to take sun lotion into the stadium, make sure it’s about Factor 5000, as there’s an inflatable pyro-breathing dragon coming your way.
For extra protection, maybe take in one of those aluminium foil blankets they use after marathons.
Most of all, and you’ll thank Uncle MOMS later for this, take some ear plugs. You don’t want to damage your precious little ear drums from the sheer volume of Villa’s travelling army.
UTV
A Venglos View is a satirical (and sometimes surreal) look at the Villa. ????
For more pre-Wembley high jinx listen to the MOMS Podcast. Episode 46 incoming soon:
