Let the £1.50 150th Anniversary Celebrations Begin!
There has been some understandable controversy surrounding the club’s decision to select the upcoming FA Cup 3rd round clash with West Ham as Aston Villa’s official ‘150th Anniversary’ celebration game. As far as MOMS is concerned, the most fitting and symbolic 150th anniversary game has already taken place, courtesy of Bayern Munich’s visit to Villa Park in the Champions League.
Let’s gloss over the fact that the commercial department has chosen a game in 2025, which technically makes it the club’s 151st anniversary year. Another glaring issue? For an anniversary game, you’d expect as many Villa fans in Villa Park as possible. Instead, potentially 6,500 West Ham fans – more than double the usual away allocation – will be in attendance, displacing many season ticket holders in the Upper Doug Ellis stand.
With Villa being guilty of underwhelming performances and team selections in domestic cup games in recent years – and many fans feeling the pinch after forking out on astronomical Champions League prices – the attendance for the FA Cup game, even at £25, wasn’t looking promising. So, in a clever rebrand effort, the club ‘s commercial department have basically put lipstick on the pig by billing it as the 150th anniversary game.
But, all is not lost, Villa’s Business President Chris Heck tweeted ‘£1.50’.
£1.50 https://t.co/BaZDiY5qwM
— Chris Heck (@chrisheck76) December 30, 2024
Does this mean fans be able to get a pint of Poretti for £1.50?
Well, unfortunately, it wasn’t on the list of £1.50 items able for purchase that was faxed through to MOMS HQ. But don’t worry – you won’t have time to drink anyway with all the £1.50 experiences available at the FA Cup game.
Here are the top 10 highlights from the £1.50 experience list:
The Top 10 £1.50 Villa Park FA Cup Opportunities
1. Toilet Access
With fans complaining about overflowing urinals in the opening league home game this season against Arsenal, the club will use the anniversary game to introduce a small charge that will help pay for toilet improvements – including the mooted introduction of Molton Brown hand lotion in the Holte toilets.
It will cost £1.50 to use the toilet – but that’s only for standing stalls. If you want a cubicle to do a number two, smoke a cigarette, or do a line of dubious quality narcotics, that’s an extra £1.50 surcharge for the ” GA+ luxury experience.”
2. Hot Water for Your Hands
No hot water in the Villa Park toilets? That was soooo 2024. This year, hot water will be free flowing. It will cost £1.50 for turning on the hot water tap per 10 seconds of warmth. Soap is included in the price though.
3. 30 Seconds of Villa Park Wifi
Need to check the score in another FA Cup game? No problem! For just £1.50, you can enjoy 30 seconds of blazing-fast Villa Park Wi-Fi – enough time to refresh X/Twitter, but not enough to post a complaint about the game or club.
4. Queue Jump Pass
Tired of waiting 20 to 30 minutes for a pie or pint? Don’t want to leave your seat early to miss vital minutes of Villa’s reserves vs West Ham reserves? Get a pass to jump to the front of the queue for just £1.50… but only once. Repeated use requires a “Queue Loyalty Fee” of another £1.50.
5. West Ham Noise Cancellation Headphones
Drown out the noise of 6,500 chanting Hammers fans with headphones calibrated to filter out “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles.” Yours for just £1.50 rental.
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6. FA Cup Magic Guarantee
Who said the magic of the cup has gone? For £1.50 you will be able to purchase a FA Cup Magic pill to get the full “magic of the FA Cup” experience. Once you take the pill as you enter through the turnstiles, you’ll get a pre-game warm fuzzy feeling, guaranteed to fade by half-time.
7. Experience Tim Sherwood’s FA Cup Feeling
Are you a new glory hunter Villa supporter drawn to the club since they appeared in the Champions League? If so, then you have missed out on an essential Villa supporter experience in the FA Cup – being slaughtered 4-0 by Arsenal in the 2015 final at Wembley. The Villa manager at the time, Tim Sherwood, described the game as like ‘a kick in the privates’.
For £1.50, a Villa steward will kick you in the groin, so you can fully relive the experience. Unfortunately, this a North Stand only offering.
8. Terrace View Chant Bolt-on
With the increasing number of tourist fans creating a quieter atmosphere at Villa Park, fans in GA+ areas will have the opportunity to help the regulars bring the noise to Villa Park. To encourage these fans to sing their hearts out, they will be allowed to sing at the rate of only £1.50 per chant. So get the full Holte End experience and join in a chorus of ‘My Old Man’, ‘Allez, Allez’ and ‘Holte Enders in the Sky’ for less than £5! Bargain.
9. Selfie Stick Rental
Forgot your selfie stick to capture the moment of being kicked in the groin or actually singing at Villa Park? Villa’s got your back! £1.50 gets you 10 minutes of selfie stick glory to capture all those “iconic” FA Cup moments.
10. A Pledge of Loyalty to the Club
If buying a brick in the ‘Legacy Wall’ was too expensive in these financially trying times, there is another option to validate your support. For just £1.50, you can receive a printout of your very own Villa loyalty pledge. Complete with “Terms and Conditions apply” in fine print.
UTV
A Venglos View is a satirical (and sometimes surreal) look at the Villaverse…
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Loved this! A great distraction from “ Villa to sign £40m striker from Ujpest Doza!”
Was it you who also got me excited a couple of years ago by the over canal monorail that I thought was going to go from New St to Villa Park!!??
It was. That was actually the last ‘A Venglos View’ article. Bizarrely, some people at the club and in the local press also believed it.
Fell for the clickbait, dragged me in, but made me smile! UTV!
Clickbait, for me, is when a headline leads you to something with no value that is trash. You my friend, understand what satire is! Some others – mainly on Twitter – seem to be dead between the eyes.